I want to make a zoo with you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
