I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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