I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
