so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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