And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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