hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
