There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
