I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize