The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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