I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
