hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
