i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
