god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
