I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
