No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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