Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my shit smells like andre
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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