I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
