It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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