The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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