I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
