dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
nutella sex= disaster
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize