I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize