I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
