That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize