She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
