Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
