I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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