U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
