I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
