we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
