the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
