? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
