I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
