Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
