I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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