Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
