Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize