The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
