I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
