Sry I called you an 8
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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