I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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