He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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