I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
