Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
