In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
