yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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