What a fucking waste of an outfit
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
