glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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