you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
not ubering you a puppy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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