At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
