We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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