What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The air was thick with penises
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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