and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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