"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
