it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
