You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
