Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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