I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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