He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize