so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize