i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize