just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Randomize
