My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize