I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
